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I fully expected a Thanksgiving breakdown, I just didn’t know sweet potatoes would trigger it. Today I attempted to make my grandmother’s sweet potato casserole. Even people who hate sweet potatoes BEG me to make this at Thanksgiving once they try it. It might be the butter, cinnamon brown sugar, and pecans in the topping, but I also love the smooth, orange whipped sweet potato base. I already knew the sweet potatoes were different here. There are yellow ones and purple ones called beni-imo (and canned ones in heavy syrup, which I hadn’t considered). I bought all the ‘fresh’ sweet potatoes I could find last week, hitting a farmer’s market nearby. Today we had a feast at the chapel after service, and I decided to go ahead and make the sweet potatoes. I peeled about four yellow ones and a purple one. Once they were boiled, I strained them, pulled out the mixer, and started whipping the filling.

It looked like bean dip, and I started crying.

It’s just not the same. No amount of crumbly streusel topping could fix it.

For many, this Thanksgiving just won’t be the same. Some have lost someone dear, some are far from anything familiar, some are starving or empty, and some miss people and places so much their insides ache.  It won’t be the same. Acknowledge it. Grieve it. Then, give thanks for it. If I’ve lost someone, it means I have made memories to cherish. If I am far away, it means I am having new experiences. If I am starving or empty, it means I have space for new things. If I am missing people and places so much my insides ache, it means I have been blessed beyond belief to have held so many dear. Those who gathered for that first Thanksgiving knew about grief and emptiness, having lost over half their friends and family on the voyage and crops that were planted too late. They knew fear. They knew how it felt to be far from everything familiar. They still took time to thank God.

I pray this week that you will gather with those nearby, try something new (even purplish-brown sweet potato casserole), and give thanks to God who always provides more than enough grace for the day.