We’re cheating on this phase this time, since we already have housing at our new duty station—a huge relief to have that one detail worked out. We often take an extra couple weeks in the midst of a move to visit family and friends, especially since we seem to swap coasts (or continents) each time we move. This is both terrific and terrifying for everyone involved. Remember, we are suffering from detachment, grief, suitcase-living and adventure-fatigue. At any moment, I may laugh and burst into tears at the same time over the mention of a sugar bowl or the dearth of good coffee available on I-40 between Albuquerque and Amarillo. It’s uncivilized.
I am so thankful for our family and friends who receive us in this tenuous state. I wish they could see us when we’re well-rested and better adjusted instead of moments after emerging from an eleven hour flight where we’ve survived on trail mix, a sketchy pasta dish, and lollipops. They don’t say anything as we sleep too long, watch too much tv, and stare into space. They hug us and hold us and accept our mess of suitcases and lives.
This step has been especially important this time, since we’ve been overseas for three years. I didn’t realize how much we needed it until we landed in California. We flew on my oldest son’s 15th birthday, which is probably how every teenage boy dreams of celebrating his birthday—except not. Our first stop was with my best friend Heidi and her family. We had a ball, and our time there was far too short. Before we left for Okinawa in 2012, Heidi’s husband measured and marked the kids’ heights on the beam in their garage. We took pictures of the change, with Heidi’s finger pointing to their height in 2012:
Heidi had planned dinner and a birthday cake for my son. We lit candles and sang as if we celebrated together every year. As we left, he went up to Heidi and gave her a huge hug, thanking her. He mentioned as we drove to the hotel, “It’s awesome coming back to these places, huh, Mom?”
As I went to bed that night, I cried a little bit. I’m so thankful for these home ports—places that stay the same for my kids. Our friends and family hold important parts of our story and lives. It’s unanswerable grace to see them during this phase when we feel a bit untethered.