I want to go home
Only I can’t find it anymore
I return where I started
And it
It
Changed somehow
The house is there
Some of the people are too…
Although more wrinkly than I remember
so I try to retrace my steps
to see where I mislaid it
to see where I got off track
only those places are
not
what
I
thought
Or remember
I reread the books and chapters that
I used to make a self
Only they are showing me
A new self
And I can’t find the way back
The more I read the further away I move
There are no plane tickets back there
I don’t regret it all
I just miss
Something back there
Like a handbag left on the train
A tugging that I know I forgot
Something
Back
There
A need to rifle through
Old drawers
And maps
Chances are
If I find it
I won’t recognize it
My eyes have been altered
Lasered by loss and time and grief and time
I want to go home
Only I can’t find it
Whatever it is
Back
There
~suelarkinsweems ’10
*for those following hurricane news, we have evacuated inland to Richmond for the weekend. Yes, Matt’s at sea, so I’m in a hotel with four kids and a nervous dog. Awesome.*
I bet you really wish you had an axe right about now . . .
(I’m glad you’re riding out the storm away from the coast, but I wouldn’t have blamed you for gambling with Mother Nature vs. hotel with kids and pet).
DANGIT! I knew I forgot to pack something… I’m reluctantly glad Matt mobilized us. I think I was paralyzed by the thought of packing up our circus and taking it on the road. Everyone’s managing fine for now…I’m thinking of leaving a case of earplugs with the front desk with personalized apology cards attached for the other guests.