It feels like all we do is come and go sometimes. Arrivals are easier for me—everything is new, I have no obligations yet, anything seems possible. Departures are much harder—dissembling a year or two or three and finding a way to pack the pieces back into misshapen boxes. There is managing grief, packing, transportation, and goodbyes. No matter how much planning goes into a departure, there is a point where I maxx out, and I am tempted to go into denial. I say to myself—I’ve had enough, and I shouldn’t be expected to finish strong. *cue whine track*

I have four weeks left at a job where I have worked for a four years—the longest I have been able to keep a job since Tattoo Man joined the Navy. I know what needs to be done to finish my work well, but I’m tired. I have packed a house and driven cross-country with four alternately excited and grieving children. My fun-o-meter and motivation meters are at an all-time low. I’m tempted to show videos for the remainder of the year. I’m tempted to use all my personal days and miss a day or two each week. I’m tempted to check out and coast.

When I turned in some equipment a couple weeks ago, I asked my principal if I needed to do anything to prepare to leave at the end of the year or if they needed help closing anything out. He was shocked.

“Most people just walk away. They drop off the planet weeks before they even leave.  I don’t think anyone has ever asked me that before.”

It reminded me that we are surrounded by people who see what we do, especially in the moments when we are most spent. A few weeks ago, when a colleague was wrestling with an ethical decision, he asked me how I keep my ethics when most people don’t care. I told him the only way I had any integrity was because of my faith.  

If I leave behind chaos in a fog of apathy, any impact or impression I have made for Christ is compromised. I’m incapable of perfection, but I can stay the course and finish well. The question is how.

1. I am keeping the end in sight. I count down, but with a positive attitude. There is a big difference between an attitude that says “I can’t wait to get out of this cesspool,” and “Four weeks left, I can finish strong as a testimony to God’s work in my life.”

2. Care for the people in front of me as if I am not leaving. In the weeks before a move or an ending, we naturally start to pull away to make separation easier. I fight against that pull. My students deserve my full attention for the next four weeks.

3. Say thanks. No job or colleague is perfect. I try to write out a thank you to people who have helped me grow and to people who have challenged me (even, maybe especially, when we have found ourselves at odds most of the time). Gratitude helps me remember the good that I have learned from a position or job, even when there has been conflict or adversity.

Leaving is always emotional, even when it is a relief. If you are in the middle of finishing something today– a move, a deployment, a project, a job, school…hang in there and finish well. Here’s to four more weeks, and finishing strong!