My friends say they would like to go back to wearing mascara, so I’ll mix up all the depressing moving posts with a couple about road tripping. They still might make you cry—road trips usually do that to me.

A few things that seem to ALWAYS come up when we travel, and this week is no exception:

~One good backseat throwdown to define where “the exact” middle of the seat is, followed by an intense urge to apply duct tape liberally—to the seat and the mouths of all involved. Cue lecture #210 “Some people do not have a car. They walk or ride a bus.” Followed by lecture #421 “Imagine if we were pioneers, and you had to walk or ride on a donkey for 1400 miles!”

~At least one hotel with barking dogs at midnight or moaning rabbit aerobics at 2:15 a.m. next door. We had the delight of having both the same night. I lie in bed praying no one wakes up. Then I begin praying that our neighbors want to sleep in, knowing our kids will bounce up loudly at 6 am. Then I wonder if I should wake up Matt to confess my poor attitude. In the morning, I wait for Memphis to declare loudly in the crowded breakfast room that she thinks a woman was sick next door the previous night, because of all the moaning.  She doesn’t. No lecture is cued.

~Food arguments. We drive up to eat and two of the four children go into sulk mode, “I don’t wanna eat here…I wanted to go to….” Eat or starve, I say, ordering my own food. The two offending parties eventually order, and I try not to stab them with a spork. Cue lecture #2 “Starving children in Africa.”

~No one got sick. This is clearly a sign of the end times.

I probably need to have an attitude adjustment before we start the last leg of our journey this weekend. And wear my ear plugs. I do think it is getting easier to travel with the Weems Fab Four though. I don’t know if it is because I am growing up or they are—maybe a little of both.