Today, Jet will start preschool at a nearby church. He is so excited, and I know he will enjoy some time out of the house with other kids focused on preschool tasks and play instead of the pre-algebra madness here. In five short months he will be five, which startles me. I hope I don’t cry when I drop him off.

Yesterday, the Virginia Beach school busses went by without us for the first time. I expected to feel a knot in my stomach, a wistfulness, but it’s not there. I only feel a gentle inner calm. I don’t take it for granted. I usually feel like I’m running a tilt-a-whirl in my head, guessing and second-guessing myself.

August faded softly into September, bringing the quiet promise of routines, activities, rhythm. Perhaps this is a kind of acceptance? We’re not in a routine yet, but everyone seems a little more subdued. We are already through the first month of the experiment. *gasp* How can that be?

At a birthday party a week or so ago, a neighbor asked, “How’s the kids’ schooling going?”

I just responded, “It’s going.” I sighed deeply though as I thought, It’s going to mow me down and leave me in the looney bin. That’s how it’s going.

She replied, “Well, are you doing what you wanted to do with them?”

Hmph. I mumbled a response, but her question reverberated in my mind for the last week or so. I realized that I needed to return to our goals:

1. more individualized attention *check*  

2. more free time to play and travel *half-a-check* (they have more time to play, I haven’t had a spare moment in weeks)

3. more margin (umm…we’re not doing so well on this last one yet)

I guess it is going better than I thought. My mantra for September: SLOW DOWN and ENJOY IT.